We want Jaswant

Hypertree would like to put it out there that it is a big fan of Jaswant Singh. Yes, he is a member of the fascist communalist BJP but then Hypertree is not beyond forgiveness. It does not judge a book by its fascist communalist cover so to speak. I mean, we’re talking of a man who, overwhelmed with compassion, not only released but personally escorted three terrorists to Kandahar in return for the release of the passengers of a hijacked Air India plane, thus courageously giving in to the demands of the terrorists.

Hypertree’s sources reveal that along with the terrorists he’d also brought cases of ParleG cookies to the starving Kandahar hijackers, who’d no doubt have been suffering under the appalling Air India food. Which munching on their ParleG cookies, they reminisced on geopolitical issues of exploitative imperialists, on how they haven’t read about Karl Marx, but if they had they’d no doubt have liked him, and so on, till it was time to bid goodbye, and amidst tearful farewells, promised to write to each other and remain pen pals, and continue to exchange anti-Indian terrorists and ParleG cookies. Hypertree thinks such compassion can only come from a man who though a fascist communalist on the outside, is very much an egalitarian communist on the inside.

How can such a courageously angelic person possibly become more angelic you ask? Jaswant Singh, in a feat that should earn him a direct seat in the Politburo should he choose to take leave from the fascist communalist party of his, revealed that there was a mole in the PMO in 1991 and that he has all the details in his upcoming book. A fascist nationalist might have made use of this information while he was a foreign minister in the late 90’s, or take it through proper channels, but it takes a man of courage to responsibly reveal it to the press, and that too a decade later, right before the release of his book. It shows that he puts key humanist elements over parochial nationalism, not the least of which is to make people more literate by reading his book.

Hypertree believes his noble mission to courageously trivialize all aspects of our national security is not incongruous from that of our esteemed Politburo, and can only urge Jaswant to take the next step and join our CPIM so that all us compassionate Indians could give him his due respect.

Expelling diplomats

Hypertree is a strong proponent of compassion and forgiveness. An i for an eye, Hypertree believes, would lead to exploitative inequalities in the vowel market, and if Hypertree does not care about u, who would?

That said, Hypertree is not exactly saddenned to see the latest bout of calisthenics by the Indian and Pakistani diplomatic services. It all started with Pakistan expelling an Indian diplomat (a mere exception to the rule of course which is that it all starts with hegemonist communalists). India in turn retaliated by expelling a Pakistani diplomat. Thus continuing a game of ping pong that has been going on for a long time.
Hypertree is not saddenned by this because if there is one thing that Hypertree does not like that starts with ‘d’ and ends with ‘omat’, it is a diplomat. And the reason for that, my alertly compassionate readers would be interested to know, is that they are but frontliners of exploitative imperialists. Hypertree could not fail to observe that these were all predominantly men in suits and boots, who sip martinis and talk in funny accents all day. And if there is one egregious instance of such a funny accent talking martini sipping person in a bunch of movies, it is Bond. James Bond.

Hypertree has daily nightmares about that movie series; where the hegemonist James Bond would go around killing egalitarian communist spies who were engaged in righteous information liberation. All the while imposing his hegemony upon buxom bikini clad women, trapping them in an abusive and physical relationship that would set back their self-actualization by many years. It was no coincidence that many of James Bond’s covers were diplomats.

So when Hypertree looks at the tit-for-tat expulsions of the diplomats, it can’t help but feel glad that somehow all those communist spies and buxom women on the verge of self-actualization done wrong by James Bond are being avenged.